New York Puns & One Liners 210+

Welcome to the city that never sleeps, where even the language has a sense of hustle and bustle.

New York City, with its iconic skyline and vibrant neighborhoods, inspires creativity in more ways than one.

Today, we’re diving into the playful side of the Big Apple with a collection of New York puns that capture the essence of this dynamic metropolis.

From Broadway to Brooklyn, Central Park to the Empire State, get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even roll your eyes a little, because when it comes to puns, New York truly delivers in a New York minute.

New York Puns

1. When a New Yorker finally arrived in the countryside, he was amazed to see how many cows could be “herd.”
2. Never apologize for anything you did or bought on Fifth Avenue.
3. What did the Brooklyn Bridge say to the Golden Gate Bridge? “Sorry, I can’t bridge this gap between us.”
4. If you can party here, you can party anywhere!
5. I’ll be there for you, ’cause you’re there for me too.
6. Taking a bite out of the Big Apple.
7. What do you call a New York City dinosaur? A metro-saurus!
8. Central Parking ourselves here for the weekend.
9. A trip to NYC can be very taxi-ing on your wallet.
10. Why was the Statue of Liberty bad at poker? She always gave away her tells!
11. Why did the bank robber decide to try and rob the Federal Reserve Bank in NYC? He heard it had the most dough.
12. I asked a New Yorker for directions and they replied, “Fuggedaboutit.”
13. What did Lady Liberty say when she was feeling down? “I’m just feeling a little statue-esque today.”
14. Why did the hot dog vendor win an award? He relished the opportunity!
15. Why did the hot dog break up with the pretzel? It found someone who was a bit more bun-stable.
16. I accidentally got ketchup on my New York Times. Now it’s extra newsy.
17. Hanging out in the big Apple-tini.
18. New York stole a pizza my heart.
19. Table for Annabelle Bronstein, please.
20. Single girls in search of Mr. Big.
21. What did the NYC subway rider say to the MTA worker? “Thanks for taking me for a ride!”
22. Finally made it to the Statue of Liberty. It’s a boat time!
23. What did the bagel say to the cream cheese? You complete me, lox!
24. Just doing our part for the Anna Delvey Foundation.
25. If you ask us, romance is a matinee followed by Katz’s Delicatessen.
26. Apparently, we’re on Soho Santa’s naughty list.
27. The New York food truck with the best jokes always has the longest pun line.
28. Why did the hipster move to Brooklyn? He heard the rent was too Manhattanstream.
29. The jazz musician couldn’t afford a new instrument in New York, so he had to improvise.   
30. How does a New Yorker find a needle in a haystack? He looks for a needle in the Upper East Side.
31. New York pigeons are like the city’s unofficial mascots – always cooing and ahh-ing over the skyline.
32. I prefer skyscrapers and subways in my national parks.
33. How does a New Yorker spell relief? F-E-R-R-Y.
34. Everything in New York is so pitcher perfect.
35. What do New York tourists wear on their feet? Empire State loafer!
36. New York Public Library’s got one more love story to hold.
37. Why did the tomato turn red when it crossed the street in NYC? It saw the Big Apple!
38. Such a brew-tiful day in the city.
39. People who work in New York have an elevator for every pun
40. Did you hear about the New Yorker who couldn’t stand elevators? He was always taking the stairs.
41. Why did the crab decide to move to NYC? He wanted to be part of the crabulous city life.
42. I asked the taxi driver to take me to where all the cool cats hang out. He dropped me off at Central Bark.
43. How does a New Yorker greet someone they don’t know? “Oh hey, it’s a pleasure to not know you!”
44. Why did the balloon artist decide to move to NYC? He wanted to be part of the Big Apple.
45. Why did the pizza go to New York City? To see the Big Cheese!
46. What did the hotdog stand manager say to the new employee? “Don’t screw up or you’ll be another rotten egg on the street.”
47. Why did the pigeon decide to move to New York City? He heard it was the place to really spread his wings.
48. How does the Statue of Liberty stay in shape? By doing the New York hustle!
49. In Massachusetts, why do all the trees lean west? It’s because New York sucks.
50. What did the hotdog vendor say to the customer with onion allergies? “No worries, I’ll hold the onions and the tears.”
51. The views from the top of the Empire State Building couldn’t be NYCer.
52. What do you call a New Yorker who loves maths? A Manhat-tician!
53. The one with the New York Honeymoon.
54. How does a New Yorker fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste!

You might also like dog puns.

One Liner New York Puns

1. Why did the scarecrow move to New York? He wanted to be outstanding in his field.
2. I went to a gentrification-themed party in Brooklyn… but I’m pretty sure I was the only real hipster there.
3. Why did the taxi driver get lost in New York City? He kept taking wrong turns on Broadway.
4. I went to see the Statue of Liberty, but all I got was a tiny souvenir and a grand sense of irony.
5. I went to a fancy New York restaurant and ordered a classic bagel and lox dish… but all I got was a regular bagel and maybe some loose change.
6. Why did the jogger get lost in Central Park? Because they took a wrong turn on Turtle Pond and ended up on the other side of the world.
7. Why did the hot dog vendor move to New York? Because he wanted to be a Big Weiner in the Big Apple!
8. Why did the tourist only visit the outer boroughs of New York? Because they couldn’t afford the tunnel tolls!
9. Visiting Times Square can be a bit overwhelming – it’s a sign of the times.
10. Why did the hot dog vendor get arrested? He was accused of selling buns without a license!
11. The Statue of Liberty is great at speeches – she always stands for freedom.
12. Why did the squirrel in Central Park start charging admission? He discovered he was sitting on a gold mine of tourists’ snacks.
13. New York is so great, it’s Empire-stating the obvious.
14. In New York, even the sidewalks crack up.
15. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity in Central Park – it’s impossible to put down!
16. Why did the New Yorker refuse to take the stairs? They had a fear of escalators breaking down and having to walk up them.
17. I took the subway to the comedy club, but the train was full of stand-up guys.
18. I thought about opening a gym in New York, but then I realized everyone here is already a pro at subway surfing.
19. I tried to take a picture with the Naked Cowboy in Times Square, but he charged me for every extra inch of skin.
20. Why did the comedian have a successful show in New York? Because he was always keeping it Real.
21. Why was the pizza chef in New York feeling depressed? Because he felt like his life was just one big slice of pie.
22. Broadway actors always know how to play their parts.
23. Forget about the stock market… in New York, the only thing that’s booming is the sound of honking cars.
24. When you’re in New York, always be latte – it’s the city that brews!
25. I heard the rats in New York were getting so big, people are starting to mistake them for miniature subway trains.
26. I told my friend I couldn’t make it to the picnic in Bryant Park – too much on my plate.
27. Did you hear about the new Broadway show called ‘The Elevator’? It’s a real up-lifting experience!
28. My friend tried to give me tips on navigating the subway system… but all I heard was ‘mind the gap’ and ‘stand clear of the closing doors’.

If you own a cat, you can also see our cat puns.

Q&A New York Puns

1. Q: Why did the ghost move to New York City? A: Because it wanted to be booed and haunted by everyone!
2. Q: Why did the pizza slice go to therapy? A: Because it felt sliced off from the rest of the pie.
3. Q: Why did the tomato turn red in Central Park? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
4. Q: Why was the Empire State Building always so tired? A: Because it was always running up and down the stairCasedes!
5. Q: Why was the math book sad in New York? A: Because it had too many problems.
6. Q: Why do skyscrapers love New York? A: Because it’s where they can really look down on people!
7. Q: What did the New Yorker say to the pigeon? A: “Hey, I’m walking here!”
8. Q: What did the hot dog vendor say when he ran out of hot dogs? A: “Well, that’s the wurst!”
9. Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just wait for someone else to do it.
10. Q: Why did the New Yorker switch to decaf? A: Because he couldn’t handle all the buzz in the city!
11. Q: What did the cannoli say to the cheesecake? A: “You better watch your waistline, we’re in New York now!”
12. Q: Why don’t New Yorkers ever get lost? A: Because all streets lead to Rome-ing charges.
13. Q: How does a New Yorker fix a broken pizza? A: With tomato paste!
14. Q: How does a snowman get to work in New York City? A: By icicle-ing a cab!
15. Q: What do you call a New Yorker who only eats kale? A: A Yankee Noodle Dandy.
16. Q: What do you call fake spaghetti in Little Italy? A: An impasta!
17. Q: What did the New Yorker say when he stubbed his toe? A: “Fuhgeddaboudit!”
18. Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but he’ll charge you $200 for labor.
19. Q: What did the Statue of Liberty say when she saw her crush? A: “Oh my God, I’m so nervous I’m green!”
20. Q: Why did the hot dog vendor move to Times Square? A: To relish in the bright lights and big city.
21. Q: What did the NYC pigeon say when it flew over Times Square? A: “This place is for the birds!”
22. Q: Why did the New Yorker bring an umbrella to the Broadway show? A: In case there was a standing ovation!
23. Q: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants to Central Park? A: In case he got a hole-in-one!
24. Q: Why did the New Yorker refuse to leave Central Park? A: Because he was a tree hugger.
25. Q: What’s the best part about living in New York City? A: Leaving it on vacation!
26. Q: What did the bagel say when it saw its reflection? A: “I’m so distressed!”
27. Q: Why did the New Yorker cross the road? A: To get to the brunch spot on the other side.
28. Q: Did you hear about the statue of liberty’s new diet? A: She lost a ton of weight, now she’s just ‘Liberty’.
29. Q: What do you call a snake who works for the MTA? A: A boa conductor!
30. Q: Why did the bicycle fall over in Brooklyn? A: Because it was two-tired!

New York Jokes

1. Why did the New York City artist always wear headphones while painting? To avoid getting paint in her ears!
2. Why did the New York City banker take an umbrella to work? He wanted to be rainkeeping!
3. Why did the New York City politician switch parties? He wanted to be a party of the Big Apple.
4. Why was the New York City dog wearing sunglasses? He was a bichon noir!
5. What did the New Yorker say to his pizza before taking a bite? “You got a nice slice!”
6. Why did the New York City rapper start a food truck business? He wanted to serve up some hot beats!
7. What do you call a New Yorker who loves cheese? A cheddar-loving Yankee!
8. Why did the New York City cop give a ticket to the hot dog vendor? He was doing a franklin violation!
9. What do you get when you mix a New Yorker with a cat? A meowyorker!
10. I told a New Yorker I was going to see the Statue of Liberty, and he said, “No way, that’s lady Liberty.”
11. I tried to give my New Yorker friend some flowers, but he said, “No thanks, I prefer concrete.”
12. Did you know that you can’t trust stairs in New York? They’re always up to something.
13. I couldn’t find a parking spot in New York, so I just had to fuhgettaboutit.
14. I asked my New Yorker friend if he ever gets homesick. He said, “What do you mean? I live in New York, not Old York.”
15. Did you hear about the New Yorker who started his own bakery? He made a lot of dough.
16. I accidentally packed my car with all my clothes when moving to New York. Now it’s a Manhattan-tent!
17. What did the New Yorker say when he visited Central Park for the first time? “I didn’t know we had a yard this big!”
18. Why did the New York City bus driver get fired? He took too many breaks in Times Square!
19. How did the New Yorker make a million dollars? He started with six million!
20. I asked my friend from Buffalo if he ever gets bored. He said, “I’ve never been board in my whole life!”
21. Why was the Empire State Building always tired? Because it was always working overtime!
22. How do you know if a New Yorker is in love? They’ll take a cab instead of the subway.
23. How many New Yorkers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’re too busy hailing cabs.
24. How does a New Yorker refer to their Sunday routine? “Bagel and lox-in’ it up!”
25. What did one skyscraper say to the other? “I look up to you!”
26. What do you call a city that only has tiny dogs? New Yorkie City!
27. What did the hot dog vendor say when someone asked for a Chicago-style hot dog in New York? “Fuhgeddaboutit!”
28. How did the New Yorker greet their long-lost friend? “It’s bin too long!”
29. What do you call a New York City fish? A Hudson Herring!
30. Why did the hot dog go to New York City? To get some street meat!

Big Apple Funny Puns

1. I went to see the New York Giants play and boy, were they really big.
2. I walked by a Broadway theater and saw that Hugh Jackman was starring. I guess you could say I got a ‘jackpot’!
3. Why do apples in New York never get lost? They always find the core of the city.
4. What do you call a hot dog in Times Square? A hot dog with a view.
5. Why did the hipster move to Brooklyn? Because he heard it had the most obscure coffee shops.
6. I went to a rooftop party in Manhattan and boy, was it elevated!
7. What do you call a New Yorker who only eats salads? A carrot-top!
8. What do you call a New York City hot dog in disguise? A frankfurter-clad!
9. Why was the New Yorker late for work? The subway was running on ‘New York time’ – it’s never on schedule.
10. I asked the Statue of Liberty for directions and she was very statue-fied.
11. I told my friend I was taking the subway to the Bronx and he asked if I was into bodybuilding.
12. What kind of food do ghosts like to eat in Chinatown? Boo-dumplings!
13. Why did the apple go to Times Square? To get to the core of the city!
14. The New York City skyline is like a beautiful painting – except it also doubles as a postcard.
15. I took a bite of the Big Apple and boy, did it bite back!
16. Why did the New Yorker cross the road? To get to the Hudson Manor!
17. An apple a day keeps the New York traffic away!
18. The Big Apple is a-peel-ing in every season.
19. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree – it moved to the Big Apple.
20. If you can peel it here, you can peel it anywhere!
21. In the Big Apple, even the taxis have peel-ing personalities.
22. Life in the Big Apple: it’s a fruit-ful experience!
23. How do apples stay in touch in New York? They use their “core” phones!
24. New York is so fruity, it’s practically the core of America.
25. New York City may be the city that never sleeps, but I can never get enough of that skyline.
26. I’m always getting lost in New York, thank goodness for the GPS – Grittily-packed Streets
27. Why did the tourist go to Soho? Because he heard it was the ‘artsy’ part of town.

Knock Knock New York Puns

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Santa Claus. Santa Claus who? Santa Claus-ing off to New York City, the best place to be!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Empire. Empire who? Empire State of mind!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? New York. New York who? New York-a-doodle-doo, it’s time to start the day in the Big Apple!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? New York. New York who? New York gonna believe this city!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? The Bronx. The Bronx who? The Bronx cheers for the Yankees!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Subway. Subway who? Subway you going in New York?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Central Park. Central Park who? The squirrels in Central Park are nuts about you!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broadway show. Broadway show who? Broadway show you a good time, guaranteed!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Times Square. Times Square who? Times square-d of walking around in circles trying to find a bathroom.
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? 5th Avenue. 5th Avenue who? 5th Avenue got some great deals on designer clothes!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wall Street. Wall Street who? Wall Street you doin’? Making bank?
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Times. Times who? Times to explore New York!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brooklyn Bridge. Brooklyn Bridge who? Brooklyn Bridge the gap between us and become friends?
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harlem. Harlem who? Harlem shake our way through the night.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coney Island. Coney Island who? Coney Island meet you at Nathan’s for a hot dog eating contest?
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broadway. Broadway who? Broadway for the stars, but you already shine bright!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Central. Central who? Central Park your car!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue of Liberty. Statue of Liberty who? Statue of Liberty’s armpit, please! It’s getting crowded for tourists over here.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little Italy. Little Italy who? Little Italy taste some of my homemade cannolis?
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? The Empire State Building. The Empire State Building who? The Empire State Building, but I’m more like the Empire State Climbing if you know what I mean.
21. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Queens. Queens who? Queens up after yourself in New York!
22. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rockefeller Center. Rockefeller Center who? Rockefeller Center-prise, I got you a souvenir from the Top of the Rock.
23. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hudson. Hudson who? Hudson great views from here!
24. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harlem. Harlem who? Harlem me down, it’s a long day in the city!
25. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grand Central Station. Grand Central Station who? Grand Central Station, do you have a train of thought?
26. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yankee Stadium. Yankee Stadium who? Yankee Stadium at Home Plate, baby!
27. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broadway. Broadway who? Broadway you’re going, you’ll love it!
28. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-lause for the Big Apple!
29. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Liberty Bell. Liberty Bell who? Liberty Bell you something, the pizza here definitely beats Philly’s.
30. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue doing in New York?
31. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brooklyn. Brooklyn who? Brooklyn, lets go for a slice of pizza and a stroll in the park.

Also see Monkey Puns.

Conclusion

As we wrap up our journey through the pun-filled streets of New York, it’s clear that humor is as much a part of this city’s fabric as its towering skyscrapers and bustling avenues.

From iconic landmarks to quirky neighborhoods, each pun has added a touch of whimsy to our exploration.

Whether you’re a native New Yorker or just passing through, these puns serve as a reminder that laughter is universal, even in the city that never sleeps.

So, next time you find yourself in the Big Apple, keep your ears open for the next pun that might just leave you grinning from ear to ear. Until then, stay pun-derful.