Hockey Puns One Liner & Jokes 220+

Welcome to the ultimate collection of hockey puns that will make you chuckle, groan, and maybe even face-palm.

Whether you’re a die-hard fan of the sport or just someone who enjoys a good play on words, our list of puns is sure to score big laughs. From clever quips to witty wordplay, we’ve got it all.

So whether you’re a hockey player, a fan, or just someone who loves a good pun, these hockey-themed jokes are sure to score big.

Hockey Puns – Top Picks

1. How do you know if a hockey player is good at math? He knows all the angles.
2. Why couldn’t the hockey player score? He had a puck-tuation problem.
3. What did the ice say to the hockey player? “You make me melt.”
4. Why did the goalie get a job at the bakery? He’s great at stopping bread shots.
5. What did the coach say to the team after they won the championship? “We really puck-ed it to them!”
6. How does a hockey player get to the game? On a Zamboni-cle.
7. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his salary “checked”!
8. Q: What do hockey players and magicians have in common? A: Both do hat tricks.
9. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a pirate? One has a hook and the other has a stick.
10. What did the puck say when it crossed the goal line? “I’m on a roll!”
11. What do you call a tiny hockey player? A small-goal-fish.
12. Why didn’t the hockey player invite his glove to the party? It’s always catching colds.
13. Q: Why did the ice hockey player bring a ladder to the game? A: Because he wanted to score some “high”-stick goals!
14. Why couldn’t the hockey player be trusted? He was always up to no good-eau.
15. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the tickets were sold out.
16. What do you call a hockey player with a broken leg? A limp-stick.
17. Why was the hockey player late to practice? He had to attend a stick-to-itiveness seminar.
18. What did the coach say to the hockey team before the big game? “Skate hard, play hard, don’t be board.”
19. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit near the ice fans.
20. What do you call a fake hockey player? An im-posseur.
21. What do you call a funny hockey team? The Laughing Stock-ers.
22. How does a hockey player fix his broken stick? He uses stick-tape.
23. Why couldn’t the hockey player take a selfie with his team? He couldn’t find the right angle.

You might also like tennis puns.

One Liner Hockey Puns

1. How do you fix a broken hockey stick? With stick-it glue, of course!
2. Why did the hockey player bring a boat to practice? Because he kept getting his skates wet in the rink!
3. What do you call a group of penguins playing hockey? The antarctica penguins!
4. What did the hockey coach say to his losing team? “We need to up our game, guys. We’re skating on thin ice!”
5. What do hockey players eat before a game? Puck-eroni pizza!
6. Why was the hockey game at the North Pole so boring? Because there was no net-works!
7. What did the hockey player say when he scored a goal? “I had a puck, I had a plan, I had a shot, now I have a goal!”
8. What did the hockey stick say to the puck? I don’t know, it never talked!
9. What do you call a fight between two hockey players? A slap-stick comedy!
10. What do you call a hockey player who is always in the penalty box? A sin-bin-ger!
11. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They hold their sticks upside down to get a little breeze!
12. Why was the hockey player always tired? Because he was always icing his injuries!
13. Why did the hockey goalie go to jail? He kept poking around in the crease!
14. What do you call a chicken who loves hockey? A hockey cluck!
15. How are the Stanley Cup and a duck alike? They both have a beak for a handle!
16. What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a pig? A hockey-game!
17. Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hat trick!
18. How many hockey players does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they like to play in the dark!
19. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder on the ice? He wanted to score an ice-breaker!
20. Why did the hockey player bring a French dictionary to the game? Because he heard there were a lot of penalty, I mean, pénalité, calls!

Funny Hockey Puns

1. The only thing better than scoring the game-winning goal is talking about it for the next 20 years.
2. The problem with being a goalie is the other team always scores more goals than you.
3. Hockey players have the speed, strength, and agility of cheetahs… and the teeth of sharks.
4. Hockey players have the best sticks and the biggest pucks.
5. Winners never quit, quitters never win… but the losers get to go home and watch hockey.
6. A bad day of hockey is still better than a good day at work.
7. Hockey players have fire in their hearts and ice in their veins.
8. Hockey: where the bruises on your skin and the scars on your heart are a badge of honor.
9. They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a Zamboni, and that’s basically the same thing.
10. Hockey: the original form of organized chaos.
11. You know you’re a hardcore hockey fan when you can smell the ice through your TV screen.
12. In hockey, anything is possible… unless you’re a Maple Leafs fan.
13. A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be – or at least attempts to.
14. Hockey is the only sport where you can knock someone’s teeth out and they thank you for it.
15. A hockey game without a fight is like a burger without fries – it’s just not as satisfying.
16. If hockey was easy, it would be called soccer.
17. Hockey: where frozen water and good manners collide.
18. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take… and 99% of the ones you do if you’re on my fantasy hockey team.
19. Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? Because it had issues with being hit.
20. Fighting in hockey is like salt on a French fry – it just makes it better.
21. How does a hockey player shave? With a zamboni.
22. Why was the hockey game so loud? Because the players were getting so loud.
23. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy hockey tickets – which is pretty much the same thing.
24. How do you get a hockey player out of bed in the morning? Just tell him it’s game time.
25. What was the snowman’s favorite hockey move? The snowball slap shot.

Also see basketball puns.

Q&A Hockey Puns

1. Q: What do you call a cold, lonely hockey player? A: A chilled-out center!
2. Q: How does a hockey player keep his jersey clean? A: He gives it the cold shoulder!
3. Q: Why did the ice hockey player bring a rubber duck to the team party? A: He thought it would be a “quacking” good time!
4. Q: How does an ice hockey player navigate through a crowded ice rink? A: With “slap-shot” precision and some fancy footwork!
5. Q: What do you call a hockey player with a broken stick? A: A one-armed defenseman!
6. Q: Why did the ice hockey player bring a bag of ice to the game? A: Just in case there was a “cool”-lision on the ice!
7. Q: Why do hockey players make bad fishermen? A: They always end up icing the wrong thing!
8. Q: Why did the puck take a penalty? A: It was caught high-sticking!
9. Q: Why is the hockey rink hot after the game? A: Because all the fans have left.
10. Q: Why did the hockey player bring a spoon to the game? A: In case he needed a little extra ice!
11. Q: Why didn’t the hockey player like his new job at the bakery? A: He was tired of always being on the bread-line!
12. Q: Why did the ice hockey player bring a notebook to the team meeting? A: To jot down all the “icing” strategies!
13. Q: What is a hockey player’s favorite type of music? A: The wrap-around!
14. Q: What do you call a lazy hockey player? A: A puck-slacker!
15. Q: How do you make a hockey game more exciting? A: Add some ice-cream!
16. Q: How does an ice hockey player navigate through the fast-paced game? A: With “slap-shot” precision!
17. Q: What did the goalie say when he got a cold? A: “I’m feeling a little net-picky!”
18. Q: Why did the hockey player put his jersey in the freezer? A: He wanted to play on ice!
19. Q: Why couldn’t the hockey player make a good omelette? A: He kept breaking too many eggs!
20. Q: What do you call an ice hockey player who tells jokes in the penalty box? A: A “penalty-box punster”!
21. Q: Why did the ice hockey player always excel at penalty shots? A: Because he had the best “ice-cold” nerves!
22. Q: Why do hockey players always have to wear helmets? A: Because they’re constantly hitting the boards!
23. Q: Why did the ice hockey player bring a pair of skates to the winter picnic? A: In case he wanted to join a quick game of “pic-skate”!
24. Q: How do you get a hockey player’s attention? A: Just yell, “Hey, puck-head!”
25. Q: How does an ice hockey player stay cool under pressure in a shootout? A: He enjoys some “puck-king”!
26. Q: Why did the hockey player go to a bank? A: He wanted to score a loan!
27. Q: What’s an ice hockey player’s favorite type of dance? A: The “slap-shot shuffle”!
28. Q: What do hockey players and math teachers have in common? A: They both love using angles!
29. Q: Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? A: He heard it was going to be a high-sticking match!
30. Q: What’s an ice hockey player’s favorite type of snack during intermission? A: “Slap-chips”!
31. Q: What’s an ice hockey player’s favorite type of music? A: “Hip-check hop”!
32. Q: How does an ice hockey player greet the opposing team before a match? A: He says, “Ice to meet you!”
33. Q: What do you call a monkey who wins the Stanley Cup? A: A champion.
34. Q: How does a hockey player keep his hair perfect during a game? A: With penalty box braids!
35. Q: What do you get when you mix a hockey player with a magician? A: A stick-handler!

Daily Use Hockey Puns

1. What did the hockey player say when he realized he had been skating in circles for hours? I’ve been Recursive-ing the same mistake!
2. She took a shot from the blue line and scored… talk about long distance love.
3. That player is the ultimate PIM king… points in men’s.
4. He had a perfect hat-trick last night, they were all top shelf!
5. I think the coach is losing his mind, said the captain, dangerously.
6. The players were exhausted after the game, they really left it all out on the ice.
7. We need to put ice packs on our knees, said the hockey player icily.
8. I hope the ref doesn’t see me tripping, said the forward sneakily.
9. I think the ref is a little blind, he keeps missing those high sticking calls.
10. Why was the hockey rink so hot? Because there were a lot of fans there!
11. How did the hockey player score a hat trick? He put a hat on each post and the goalie couldn’t get his stick through all the ties!
12. I never thought I’d see a triple deke in a real hockey game, but that player pulled it off.
13. Why did the hockey team install a spiral staircase in their arena? They wanted to add a little recursion to their game.
14. He was sitting in the sin bin for 5 minutes, but it felt like hours in there.
15. Why couldn’t the hockey player get his team to the playoffs? He kept skating around in circles!
16. The goalie made some amazing saves, it’s like he’s a brick wall.
17. The coach really knows how to handle his sticks.
18. I love watching the penalty box, it’s like their own little time out.
19. Looks like we’ve got some tough competition, said the goalie, facing-off.
20. When the team gets a power play, they really know how to capitalize.
21. Did you hear about the hockey player who tried to tell a recursive joke? He got stuck in an infinite loop.
22. Why did the hockey player go to jail? Because he was caught icing!
23. She had the goalie wrapped around her little finger… and then she scored!
24. What do you get when you mix a hockey player and a monster truck? A slapshot truck!
25. What did the puck say to the net? I’ll be back in a couple zambonis, keep the ice warm for me!
26. I’ll never forget this game, said the rookie, memorably.
27. I wish I had better aim, said the winger blindly.
28. I can’t stand these tight-fitting jerseys, said the team’s fashionista uncomfortably.
29. I can’t believe they called that a penalty, said the enforcer defiantly.
30. I was so impressed with his stick handling, I nearly dropped my gloves!
31. What did the hockey player say to his girlfriend? I’m sorry, but I must skate away.
32. I can’t believe we lost again, said the defenseman, defeated.
33. I need a break, said the tired hockey player, panting.
34. The captain knows how to rally his team… and also how to rally the crowd.
35. I think I broke my wrist, said the defenseman single-handedly.
36. I can’t find my stick, said the goalie woodenly.
37. Why couldn’t the hockey puck get a date? Because it was too cold to score!
38. That shot was right on target, said the sniper accurately.
39. How does a hockey player practice his swing? With a penalty boxers!
40. I need a new stick, said the player, breaking the ice.
41. He’s always the first one to break the ice in a fight on the ice.
42. How do you know a hockey team is really good at recursion? They always come back for more.
43. Why do I always get put in the penalty box? said the enforcer, innocently.
44. I’m going to score a goal right now, said the captain goally.
45. The forwards were really puck-hogs last night, not sharing with their teammates.
46. I heard the hockey game was cancelled because the players got stuck in a recursive penalty box.
47. Why did the puck get a penalty? It was caught high-sticking!
48. What did the hockey player say when his coach asked him to pass the puck? Pass the buck? I can’t do that, I’m not a deer!
49. He’s got a wicked slapshot, but his one-timer is even better.
50. Their defense was like a sieve, letting in goal after goal.
51. Why did the ice hockey player go to a psychics? He wanted to know if he would get any goals.
52. What’s a hockey player’s favorite part of a bed? The faceoff!
53. What did the hockey player say when he lost his tooth? I guess I’ll have to get a fake one, or I’ll be toothless in Seattle!
54. Why couldn’t the hockey player pass his math test? He kept going offside.
55. I can’t hear the crowd over my skates, said the center deafeningly.
56. The team’s offense is so hot right now, they’re on fire!
57. What do you call a hockey player who keeps making the same mistake over and over again? A recursionist.
58. What did the stick say to the puck before the game? I’m glad we’re on the same team, or this would be awkward!
59. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Heavy slapstick!
60. What did the hockey coach say when his team couldn’t score? C’mon guys, let’s break the ice!
61. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit by the fans!
62. – I’m not sure I trust our line changes, said the center, cautiously.
63. The fans are on their feet, cheering for the team to score and penetrate the defense.
64. How do you get a hockey player’s attention? Just blow the whistle!
65. Why did the hockey player refuse to go to the dentist? He was afraid of getting a recursive root canal.

Hockey Spoonerisms

1. Hiccup Puckup
2. Sockey Heys
3. Shockey Fights
4. Bockey Lams
5. Jockey Sticks
6. Frockey Pants
7. Hockey Clops
8. Bawky Pass
9. Sockey Gtore
10. Dockey Rinks
11. Mockey Pouthguards
12. Hockey Dews
13. Humpy Bockey
14. Pockey Suck
15. Stickey Hoot
16. Flockey Fails
17. Quacky Slay
18. Wacky Pinger
19. Yockey Skates
20. Lockey Pucks

Knock Knock Hockey Puns

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Overtime. Overtime who? Overtime to decide the winner, let’s do this!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shootout. Shootout who? Shootout of my way, I’m going for the goal!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puck-up line. Puck-up line who? Can I break the ice with this hockey pick-up line?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hockey fan. Hockey fan who? Hockey fan-tastic, that’s who!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice hockey- you better let me in!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chinstrap. Chinstrap who? Chinstrap to keep your helmet on tight in this intense game!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penalty. Penalty who? Penalty not joke, I take this sport seriously.
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puck-mover. Puck-mover who? Puck-mover before I trip and fall on the ice!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hat trick. Hat trick who? Hat trick or treat!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Slapshot. Slapshot who? Slapshot into the net and score!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hockey hair. Hockey hair who? I can’t hear you over the sound of my luscious hockey hair.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Referee. Referee who? Referee to make a call, please.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Five hole. Five hole who? Five hole watching, five hole scoring!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Powerplay. Powerplay who? Powerplay anything for my team to win.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice time. Ice time who? Ice time to lace up and hit the rink!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Faceoff. Faceoff who? Faceoff your opponent and show them who’s boss!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goalie. Goalie who? Goalie, I’m always here to save the day.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puck. Puck who? Puck you, I’m trying to score!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stick. Stick who? Stick around and you’ll see some slick moves.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zamboni. Zamboni who? Zamboni in a million, I love hockey!

You can also see baseball puns.

Conclusion

And there you have it a slapshot collection of hockey puns that are sure to lighten the mood on and off the ice.

Whether you’re sharing these with your teammates, using them to break the ice, with fellow fans, or just enjoying a good laugh on your own, we hope these puns brought a smile to your face.

Remember, the game of hockey isn’t just about the goals and saves; it’s also about the fun that come with it.