If you’re a die-hard football fan with a love for clever wordplay, you’re in for a treat.
Football puns are the perfect blend of humor and the beautiful game, bringing a smile to your face whether you’re on the pitch or cheering from the sidelines.
In this article, we’ve compiled a list of the best football puns that will have you laughing out loud and maybe even scoring some points with your fellow fans or friends.
So, lace up your boots, grab your favorite scarf, and get ready to kick off the fun with these fantastic puns.
Football Puns – Top Picks
1. Why did the football player go to the bank? To open up a savings account for his punts.
2. Why was the quarterback always tired on game day? Because he was up all night studying the playbook!
3. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
4. Why did the running back quit the team? He didn’t like being tackled all the time.
5. What did the football coach say to the vending machine? Give me my quarterback!
6. Why was the football field so hot? Because all the fans left on the 50-yard line.
7. Why did the referee refuse to blow the whistle? He was too busy celebrating his birthday – it was a special down.
8. What do you call it when a football player gets arrested? A criminal offense!
9. What did the coach say about the injured quarterback? He’s been sacked way too many times.
10. Why was the quarterback in such a bad mood? He kept getting intercepted.
11. What do you call a football player who loves to dance? The punting pirouette.
12. Why did the wide receiver wear sunglasses during the game? Because he didn’t want to be caught on camera without his shades.
13. Why did the football team go to the doctor? They were suffering from a case of post-touchdown-itis.
14. What is a football player’s favorite kind of dancer? A Belichick!
15. Why did the football player wear a tie during the game? To keep his collarbone in place.
16. Why did the football player take a belt to the game? Because he heard they were playing tight defense.
17. Why was the football coach always calm? Because he had a lot of patience.
18. What did one football say to the other football? I’ve got your back(side)!
19. Why did the football coach go on a diet? He wanted to cut down on his third and long.
20. What do you call a line of cheerleaders doing cartwheels? A fumble-rumble.
21. What did the football player say when asked about his recent touchdown? It was a real kick in the grass!
22. How do football players stay cool during the game? They stand close to the fans.
23. Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.
24. Why was the football stadium so cold? Because it had a lot of fans.
25. Why don’t football players get hot? Because they have too many fans.
You might also like soccer puns.
One Liner Football Puns
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? To climb the leaderboards.
- A good quarterback is like a good wine, they both tend to get better with age.
- What do you call a cheeseburger at a football game? A linebacker.
- You can lead a team to the Super Bowl, but you can’t make them win it.
- How did the football coach get the water to his players? He used a QB sneak.
- Why did the football player cross the street? To get to the other sideline.
- It’s better to have loved and lost than to bet on the Cleveland Browns.
- Why can’t football players play cards? They’re always missing their wide receiver.
- A fake injury on the field is worth two in the referee’s book.
- Why did the football player go to the bank? He wanted to get his quarterback.
- What do you call a ghost playing football? A phantom foul.
- What do you call a shampoo for football players? Head and shoulders above the rest.
- Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
- Why did the football player go to the doctor? He was feeling a little defensive.
- What do you call a football player who opens a pizza shop? A quarterback with a side hustle.
- How did the injured football player feel? Defensive.
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a bakery? He specialized in turnovers.
- Defense wins championships, but it also loses fantasy football games.
- What do you call an unemployed defensive player? A sacked quarterback.
- The only thing Falcons fans are good at catching is disappointment.
- Why couldn’t the ghost play football? Because he was afraid of being tackled.
- If at first you don’t succeed, blame it on the kicker.
- Why don’t football players like rain? Because it makes their passes slippery.
- Why did the football player open a pizza shop? A quarterback with a side hustle.
- How do football players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.
Also see Baseball Puns.
Q&A Football Puns
1. Q: Why did the football player go to jail? A: Because he was caught stealing yards.
2. Q: What do you call a chicken who plays football? A: A grid-fowl!
3. Q: Why couldn’t the pig play football? A: Because he was a little ham-strung.
4. Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank? A: To get his quarterback!
5. Q: What’s a football player’s favorite drink? A: Quarterback-y-rum!
6. Q: Why did the new football coach go to the bank? A: He wanted to make some quarterback changes.
7. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogie in it!
8. Q: What do you call a football player who gets a ticket for speeding? A: A quarter-back with points on his license.
9. Q: What do you call a football player’s favorite snack? A: A tackle-ato chip.
10. Q: What do you call a football player who wears a tutu? A: A ballerina-back.
11. Q: Why did the football coach go to the doctor? A: He had a lot of quarterback-aches.
12. Q: Why did the football coach yell at the vending machine? A: He wanted his quarterback!
13. Q: What do you call a football player with no eyes? A: A quarter back.
14. Q: What did the coach say when the field was flooded with water? A: We need a quarterback-puddle!
15. Q: Why did the football coach say to his players when they lost the game? A: Sorry guys, we dropped the ball.
16. Q: How do you know when a quarterback is cold? A: When he starts shivering and throwing touchdowns!
17. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite position on a football team? A: Ghoul-d rusher.
18. Q: Why don’t they serve ice cream at football games? A: Because the fans might get cold feet.
19. Q: Why did the football player go to the bank? A: To get his quarter back!
20. Q: How do football players stay cool during a game? A: They stand near the fans!
Daily Use Football Puns
1. If at first you don’t succeed, blame it on the kicker.
2. What did the football player say when he dropped his ice cream? “I guess I fumbled that one!
3. A touchdown celebration isn’t complete without an excessive amount of chest bumps.
4. Why do you have to be careful when wearing white jerseys? Because you might end up getting tackled by the Tide.
5. Why was the math book unhappy when reading about football? Because it had too many problems!
6. A good quarterback is like a good wine, they both tend to get better with age.
7. Why did the football player bring string to the game? Because he was the tiebreaker!
8. What did the football coach say when his team ate too much at the buffet? “Looks like we’re going to need some extra padding on those uniforms!
9. What do you call it when a football player trips and falls? A touchdown – in the turf!
10. If football is a religion, then the Super Bowl is our Christmas Mass.
11. The only thing longer than Tom Brady’s football career is his TB12 Method book.
12. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
13. How does a football coach measure success? With a yardstick!
14. Why did the football coach say when his player asked for a day off? “Sorry, but that’s not in your contract.
15. Why was the football coach always calm? Because he liked to keep a balanced offense.
16. The only thing Falcons fans are good at catching is disappointment.
17. Cheering for the New England Patriots is like rooting for your wealthy uncle to win the lotery.
18. What do you call a football that swears a lot? A Foul Ball!
19. Why is football like a messy room? Because it’s always full of tackles!
20. How does a football player keep warm during a game? He sits near the fan…because it’s always blowing hot air!
21. Why did the chicken get kicked off the football team? Because he kept using fowl play!
22. Everyone wants a piece of the ball, but it’s all about technique.
23. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a quarterback? A big throw-cophant!
24. Why did the football player say when he was in a bad mood? “I’m feeling kind of deflated today.
25. What’s a football player’s favorite drink? Quarterback-y-rum!
26. How did the football player know the airplane was crashing? He saw the ground team going into a pre-vent defense!
27. What’s a ghost’s favorite position on a football team? Ghoul-d rusher.
28. I never thought I’d enjoy so many men chasing after me.
29. They say defense wins championships, but I prefer a good offense.
30. You have to know how to hold it just right to get the perfect spiral.
Spoonerism About Football
1. Tripped on his shoelaces and sent the ball flying into the stands
2. Scored a goal with his left foot when he’s actually right-footed
3. Slid in for a goochable goal
4. Kicked the ball in the pitchfork
5. Lit the dimmer on the matchfield
6. Saved the penalty with a foot flick
7. Deflected the shot with his blick foot
8. Juggled the ball on his helmet instead of his head
9. Struck a header in the boot omar
10. Went for a corner kick but ended up in the corner crying
11. Caught the handball in his mouth
12. Goal-bound the kicker’s foot in the cred guy
13. Threw a pass in the snout piker
14. Flipped over the goalpost and landed a flickshot
15. Scored a hatrick with his dread feet
16. Fumbled the pass and ended up in goal instead of the goalkeeper
17. Headbutted the ball in instead of using his feet
18. Swung the cleats on his foot spike
19. Tackled the field with his head socks
20. Saved the penalty with a foot flick
21. Threw a pass in the snout piker
22. Slipped on the grass and kicked the orange instead of the ball
Knock Knock Football Puns
1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Field goal. Field goal who? Field goal for the tie!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sidelines. Sidelines who? Stay on the sidelines if you can’t handle the heat!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scoreboard. Scoreboard who? Scoreboard wants more points!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blitz. Blitz who? Blitz the offense!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? End zone. End zone who? End zone for the win!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red flag. Red flag who? Red flag for a review!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fumble. Fumble who? Fumble in the jungle!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Halftime. Halftime who? Halftime to score some more goals!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tailgate. Tailgate who? Tailgate party before the game!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tackle. Tackle who? Tackle that touchdown!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cheerleader. Cheerleader who? Cheerleader up, it’s just a game!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Winning. Winning who? Winning is all that matters in football!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Huddle. Huddle who? Huddle up, let’s make a play!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goal line. Goal line who? Goal line defense, don’t let them score!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quarterback. Quarterback who? Quarterback sneak for the win!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penalty. Penalty who? Penalty for that terrible pass!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Endurance. Endurance who? Endurance is key in football!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sack. Sack who? Sack the quarterback!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Injury. Injury who? Injury timeout, need to regroup!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sweat. Sweat who? Sweat it out, it’s the last quarter!
You might also like our Artist Puns.
Conclusion
We hope these football puns brought a smile to your face and a laugh to your day.
Whether you’re sharing them with friends at a match, posting them on social media, or just enjoying a chuckle to yourself, these puns show that the love of football can be as fun as it is fierce.
So, the next time you’re watching a game or kicking the ball around, keep these puns in your pocket and share the humor with others. After all, a good pun is like a well-placed goal, it’s sure to score big.